S​.​O​.​C. Mixtape Vol. 1

by Tarica June

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1.
LYRICS: Today's a good day know it's finna be sweet I'm listening to Dom on Kennedy street remembering the west coast where the energy's sweet I did my yoga this morning so my memory's peaked but anyway, off-grid sh*t, nothing to tweet the city's still filling up with those who dance off-beat more than 140 characters, and all of them weak they walk by, low eye, act like they can't speak they walk dogs--when I say that I don't mean their feet that's cause they scared of their neighbors, them they don't wanna meet but anyway, this is third generation for me my parents and my grandparents all from DC so I feel like I notice things other folks can't see And like I represent things other folks can't be and I remember all Black on the green line and all the kids had jobs in the summertime say what you want about Barry, but he cared for the poor and that ain't who these new fools working for I tell em, "That aint who these new fools workin for" they tryna kick us all out and just build more stores but anyway... [HOOK] But Anyway I could go on forever bout all of the bull that I'm tryna make better or even about me and the twenty first letter I feel like I know you even though we ain't together live forever ok, you gettin money well I'm gettin peace of mind that you can't take from me so I feel I'm doing fine and as long as I love me I follow my own signs and the world can't judge me pretty or ugly. Verse 2 speed cameras send me pictures in the mail I hate this city sometimes, but oh well... what can I do? pay the damned ticket think it's unconstitutional but I don't picket there's other battles, other cages to rattle they still lockin us up and tryna herd us like cattle I talk about it cuz nobody else tattles they takin juveniles to Iowa, sayin that'll teach em but it won't. I swear on everything this system is a joke, not rehabilitation and it's not about hope it's about the corporations, ten dollar soap and ten dollars for ten minutes on the phone till you broke where they recording every single word that you spoke they probably ignoring every single word that I wrote cu if I ain't burn it down I was only blowin smoke [HOOK Repeats] And anyway, I'm just speaking from my heart even though the industry is tryna keep us apart even though my enemies be steadily throwing darts I'mma make it to the end, man I said it from the start so play your part and your position pen and paper's like the pots when I'm cookin in the kitchen if I serve it up hot, know the people gon listen gon give it all I got, I'm the link that was missing no more wishing cause I'm here vibratin off love not the frequency of fear I'mma keep it right there and watch the hate disappear everyday is my year get that sh*t clear.
2.
[Verse 1] Do you remember how you look without your makeup on? or (meaning) how your heart felt before your break-up? …on life goes. The cover-up is worse than the crime. Why we all use artificial light when we shine so bright with the lights off?… run so fast with the Nikes off… throw away the keys, take the bikes off-road… and roll to places we never show take back everything we ever stole from ourselves and stowed up on the higher shelves, hiding from our higher selves, we’re wandering under wand-less spells, it dwells in a place so deep where we speak with no insecurities no impurities pure are these thoughts but they like dirty talk words doing the dutty-wine, heads-spinnin it’s fine. we’ll find level-headedness gets nowhere we’re all too busy not being beings to care so we won’t let it go to our heads let the head push it back down instead we’re sippin on the same Kool-Aid we’ve bled put on our best shoes just to be misled it seems everybody’s singin bout ‘get bread’ but you don’t even see cuz of how it gets said we’re sleeping on ourselves–we are our own beds never live up to potential we were fed, we won’t let it go to our heads [Verse 2] I’m in a room full of people everybody’s looking down conversation is nowhere to be found… cuz everybody’s on their phone might as well have just stayed home why come out in public for what you could do alone? and it’s tv’s everywhere. what’s on we don’t care. just stand there and mindlessly stare buy a couple drinks to remind us we there in a couple weeks you’ll find us, we there back there–same spot–more Facebook friends but less to depend on if ever Facebook ends the topic that trends is changing every second wonder as we get connected, real connections are we wrecking are we stepping closer to each other or moving apart? seeing more light or making more dark? you my Ace, but I don’t know your number by heart I feel lonelier and dumber but my phone’s so smart with a lot of numbers in it most of em wouldn’t call pick me up from the airport or catch me if I fall so I guess that’s all I guess that’s all I won’t let it go to my head, let the head push it back down instead am I sippin on the same Kool-Aid I’ve bled puttin on my best shoes just to be misled and if everybody’s singing bout ‘get bread’ will they listen to me when my words get said? or am I sleeping on myself?–maybe I’m my own bed will I live up to potential I was fed…will I let it go to my head?
3.
that ish cray this ish surs that ish bout that hurr, that purse this ish bout that universe real woman ish [like] you the first if you don't like it, go. other side only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things we don't lie no that ish cray, this ish work that ish bout that pole, that twerk this ish bout that soul, that earth real revolution, bullshit get murked if you don't like it, go, other side... only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things we don't lie no that ish cray this ish real that ish bout that sex appeal this ish bout nations to build real revolution bullish get killed if you don't like it, go. other side only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things that ish cray this ish on that ish look like soft porn fantasies unicorns poisonous, Monsanto corn and I don't like it, no other side. only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things we don't lie no... that ish cray... what? cray what? cray...
4.
5.
Interlude 1 00:20
6.
A.N.P.B. U 03:04
Guurrrl, tell me why I'm your man's saying I'm his favorite rapper, and you rap! (Damn, what part of the game is that?) the part where you quit, yes I'm on my own sh*t ...thought I told you I was fly to compete you try I and I's just better. right now I'm shruggin my shoulders like whatchu want me to do??...your career is just over I'm over all of the pettiness, I'm just flyin above it not concerned with none of the bullshit they covet so... hate it or love it, with 50cent and a dream I'm taking The Game to places your brain has never seen I'm seen in different spaces, not anywhere in between I'm not working the middle, the girl is so extreme, I am rocking all boats, they are clocking all quotes remember it, write it down, take picture, stay woke... no joke, though I rock like Chris revolutionary, raised right fist and it stays like this. HOOK I'm ballin out, don't choke on my smoke breathe deep like your last time takin a toke keep takin me for a joke I been tryna tell you like Craig said, "Aint nobody playing but you." you think she playin??? Anit nobody playin but you. like Craig said, "Aint nobody playing but you." you think she playin??? Aint nobody playin but you. like Craig said, "Aint nobody playing but you." D.C. and Pretty Girl County where it is, soak it up like Bounty you dont like it, you can get away from round me if you're lookin for me lately tho, Petworth is where you found me if you know you really hate me, then yo don't you dap or pound me if you smilin in my face and then behind you talkin bout me claimin that you a believer if you know you really doubt me I repeat, get away from round me I am on another level, all the queen goin 'crown me' yeah, that's what they're sounding as the corners I'm rounding I'm my own foundation, I don't need your grounding size seven in the shoe size two if we're accounting for the waist and in the face brown skin, not a browning and they all stay hounding and them I be ignoring unmoved like flooring and that's just cuz I'm focused, not cause I don't care and yes this is my real hair--had to put that out there (since they ask me) repeat HOOK You must've sprayed RAID up in your roach you soundin crazy right now Baby check your approach this ain't a prank or a hoax I been tryna tell you... you smoke too much ain't nobody playin but you C'mon.
7.
Interlude 2 00:24
8.
Sometimes I think you men don't even understand the things that you do and that when you're in prison we be feelin locked down too we're shackled by our emotions, devotion's keeping us caged outwardly actin ok when actually enraged cuz we've been sentenced to loneliness, restricted to silence conflicted, feelin type responsible, so inside there's violence with indecision and blame much revision, replaying of the events leading up to the arrest and we're saying things like if only I had kept him in the house that night maybe he wouldn't have gotten caught and he'd be here in my life and we be doin our best at puttin up a resistance to the inevitable force of the time and the distance like me for instance I try to offer sanctuary many letters, much money in your commissary it's scary cause we're still being torn apart though I still could never leave you, that's not in my heart every weekend go to see you, subject to gettin searched cause I feel as though I need you, that pain couldn't be worse visiting room, no privacy, that shit hurts so every single meeting is a gift as it's a curse I feel my heart is bleeding after beating, need a nurse I'm nursin all these feelings, though I'm spilling them in spurts never speak em till now, keep em zipped up in my purse with my lips pursed up and the kiss is like church the pews full of regrets this is good and as bad as it gets the irony is gettin us mad as it sets in you say "write" I say I will, real heavy nothing but death can keep me from it, like Nettie still I wish that I could toss this moment up like confetti have it come down transformed to the day when you met me would I do it all again? I don't know--don't upset me you the only one in the world to ever get me so I'm gonna stick it out with you, I know no other way and I love you every minute but resent you everyday I say I'm gonna stick it out with you I know no other way and I love you every minute but resent it everyday.
9.
Interlude 3 00:17
10.
Sometimes I feel me stepping out of this body I feel like I should just probably be making it or just ending it all and other times I feel like living forever I feel like I could really make it whatever I do I feel like I'll be great it's up and down strong and weak grounded in quicksand and concrete I speak silently love so violently hands in my pockets, balled up into fists I take em out sometimes, open em, and blow you a kiss I wisk myself off to dreamland puffin a jay I don't smoke but I feel at certain times of the day like when the sunset's orange, leaving the sky gray the earth looks how I feel when it cooks that way and in a way I feel like I am flying to shoot me down they tryin I be tryna dodge it tryna outsmart they logic find lodging in a strange land comfort in shaking strange hands and refuse the strangest demands I emerge unscathed and unbehaved uncompromised fuck what they say always emerge unscathed and unbehaved uncompromised fuck what they say I'm uncompromised ignoring what they say uncompromised I'mma make my own way uncompromised you can leave you can stay stand firm don't sway everyday all day I'm uncompromised ignoring what they say uncompromised I'mma make my own way uncompromised you can leave you can stay stand firm don't sway everyday all day Sometimes I wish that I could just disappear and end up on the other side like instead of down here cause everybody wanna go and fuck up your career before it starts you tryna put it together they sit and pick you apart I'm like pardon my dust I'm under construction but still obstructin YOUR shine so what the fuck we discussin? this is my style and it's mine I'm signed to God your labels can't touch me I go at my own pace you can't rush me y'all mixed up like a slushie fakin you got the solution it's more like a suspension yeah, in chemistry class I paid attention not to mention that I've never gone with what the world says leaning not unto your knowledge is the way I know the ledge today they want you in red tomorrow it'll be blue I'm over here in this yellow yellin "you do you!" and none of what they said turns out to be true I keep my headphones on now you do you I'm uncompromised.
11.
Interlude 4 00:31
12.
Crush Pt. 1 03:12
[VERSE 1] each day that I don't tell him is a waste a waste of truth a waste of time eventhough I save face it's not not worth it cause a crush only crushes its holder it holds her hostage it's haunting it's heavy so much so it's daunting darting out of suggestion shooting them down if they fly in my direction answering no, with no matter what the question keep the blankest expression blanket response is that he could never want me if he does why won't he confront me? I wish that he would come and front me a few kisses I'll give em back when I'm done with them the glances are gangsta, they shootin, I'm tryna run with them they come with 'em bigger than the ones the cops use I'm dying over here, I am so fuckin confused I love you like a bandit ducked down in flat shoes with sunglasses cant stand it at times I feel used from space in my heart, no rent paid hours and hours thinkin of you and no sense made can't buy a clue let alone a vowel unfortunately I am spinning on this wheel will you please come and get me no YOU cause it's no vowels, unfortunately I am spinning on this wheel would you please come and get me... [Repeat] ...no YOU cause it's no vowels, unfortunately I am spinning on this wheel would you please come and get me off... [Talking:] Now to anybody who's never had a crush this probably sounds like gibberish But for anybody who has, this is like the gospel right? but to be more direct it's like.. [Verse #2] With each word that I don't say I disappear Cause I feel like I'm invisible whenever he is near writing songs like these cause he's never here never look him in his eyes, paralyzed by fear they need to take them things to my chest, press clear maybe then I'll snap out of it and I can be sheer meaning more see-through meaning more sincere though I'll never admit it, he could get it like yeah yeah.
13.
Hello to the Game that won't say my name cause it don't know it Destiny is not an orphan or adopted I will show it and bestow it pon the people who say "who?!" when they mention me, pull up a chair, your darkest pen, the sharpest Sharpie that's ever been and write this down mark my words nay sayers and 'never heards' will never phase me not one bit it's inevitable, made for this shit just a matter of time fore they admit though they manage to sign the opposite of everything that I represent stil I do my own thing and I represent to my own world, that's where I went stay camped out in my own tent just writing these rhymes half the time to vent truth-telling is how the other half gets spent that's despite the too-high percent sleeping on my like they was bent passed out at a party with a liquor-ish scent not licorice candy (you know what I meant) I'm minty fresh to this game real mint, not candy canes or them green ice creams know what i'm sayin? hold out your hand shake mine, it's nice to meet you probably want me on your team now that you see that I can beat you but I probably won't be down just stay up in the underground so solo is how I'm found in DC when they see me around all it takes is for them clowns to see you wit a dude sometimes then use that as an excuse to claim 'he must be writin her rhymes' ain't nobody got time fo dat no sir she is I and I am her and that's the entire clique and it's tight--solid as a brick and I still feel like I roll thick and I still feel like I mob sick this is the healthiest hello goodbye to the bullshit show of the ass in the avatar and no passion for who we are I am passing them from afar with no gas and just my guitar so they asking me how I do I'm like I wish that I knew too it's just been something inside I couldn't say if I tried if I lied, I'd say you're dope but I don't and so I don't and the 'you' in that is you if you felt a bit provoked if you felt hip hop was broke I guess I'm its only hope I'mma fix it all up right we can all sleep good tonight goodnight. [Verse 2] overanalysis is paralysis I write and write til my hands get callouses enough paper that could fill up palaces feeling like it's finished: that's where the challenge is I challenge myself to a duel I'm on the drawbridge everybody's there I saw the elderly I saw kids all crowded around tryna see what I'll do next just tryna block em out, never think would they expect this so exhausting having the cake wanting to make the best frosting so this time they'll eat it up without coughing offing myself in the process am I am I making any progress? yes is the answer but it comes slow I second guess every line lifelines in tow and they say I'm bout to blow like the Ford Pinto but that was 'fore I was born I aint get the memo now they off the bandwagon they hate the foot-dragging lagging they don't see that fire-breathing dragon over there just waiting to singe my hair, swallow pieces of my rhymes and throw em up in the air is this an unwarranted scare? I don't know. But fa sho it's a recurring nightmare and I feel it creep in every now and every then this is what I'm battlin battlin and my whole squad on that real shit cause I'm my whole squad--that's some real shit and my whole squad on that real shit cause I'm my whole squad--that's some real shit
14.
VERSE 1 four-unit building with a water tank that everyone shares, I can't shower same time as the guy downstairs this is my life... feels like musical chairs it might not be a place to sit when the music aint there I know when paying my dues no expense should be spared walk in the room, and everybody look at me weird like where were you? and I'm like 'yo, I was at work' studio time aint free; bill collectors is jerks a student loan's sky high--that's the truth and it hurts to see them funds move out when I know all the work it took to make em the way they take em's beserk they want the graduate to end up in a button-up shirt under fluorescent lights, smile at folks you don't like laugh at jokes that ain't funny just to make that money just to make ends meet touching concrete, never grass, never sand, no sunlight, it can wreak havoc on the spirit of a person the first step's recognition the second is reversin those effects make life or make checks the trade-off has got me so vexed HOOK and this is my life feel like I never get it quite right feel like I never get it quite right and this is my life feel like I never get it quite right feel like I never get it quite right grateful to just have insight, even if I never get it quite right grateful to have breath in my pipes, even if I never get it quite right still I'm doin alright VERSE 2 the best advice my momma ever gave me--can't depend on no man can't depend on nobody gotta make your own plan so my nose was in the books, but my head was in the stars I was writin papers at the same time I'm writin bars I was sittin up in class lookin like I'm takin notes when I'm really writin rhymes, tryna get some better quotes better know that I still will do better than the rest on the test but that still do nothing for my stress the success means nothin if it's not what you're wantin all of the dreams become the demons that you're confrontin and all of it seems to be beginnin to just be shuttin you down your motivation is shot you dont be comin around you feel like all that you've got that's understandin the pound of your heart when it knocks is the words with the sounds and it sounds so ludicrous when you say it out loud your parents like "what is this?" you wanted them to be proud and education is real, but it got nothin on love you gotta do what you feel, and put nothin else above and step on out on that faith, give it all that it takes sit back and reap the rewards? these are the highest of stakes... HOOK

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released September 24, 2014

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