Stream of Consciousness Vol. 1​.​5 (EP)

by Tarica June

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1.
four-unit building with a water tank that everyone shares, I can't shower same time as the guy downstairs this is my life... feels like musical chairs it might not be a place to sit when the music aint there I know when paying my dues no expense should be spared walk in the room, and everybody look at me weird like where were you? and I'm like 'yo, I was at work' studio time aint free; bill collectors is jerks a student loan's sky high--that's the truth and it hurts to see them funds move out when I know all the work it took to make em the way they take em's beserk they want the graduate to end up in a button-up shirt under fluorescent lights, smile at folks you don't like laugh at jokes that ain't funny just to make that money just to make ends meet touching concrete, never grass, never sand, no sunlight, it can wreak havoc on the spirit of a person the first step's recognition the second is reversin those effects make life or make checks the trade-off has got me so vexed HOOK and this is my life feel like I never get it quite right feel like I never get it quite right and this is my life feel like I never get it quite right feel like I never get it quite right grateful to just have insight, even if I never get it quite right grateful to have breath in my pipes, even if I never get it quite right still I'm doin alright VERSE 2 the best advice my momma ever gave me--can't depend on no man can't depend on nobody gotta make your own plan so my nose was in the books, but my head was in the stars I was writin papers at the same time I'm writin bars I was sittin up in class lookin like I'm takin notes when I'm really writin rhymes, tryna get some better quotes better know that I still will do better than the rest on the test but that still do nothing for my stress the success means nothin if it's not what you're wantin all of the dreams become the demons that you're confrontin and all of it seems to be beginnin to just be shuttin you down your motivation is shot you dont be comin around you feel like all that you've got that's understandin the pound of your heart when it knocks is the words with the sounds and it sounds so ludicrous when you say it out loud your parents like "what is this?" you wanted them to be proud and education is real, but it got nothin on love you gotta do what you feel, and put nothin else above and step on out on that faith, give it all that it takes sit back and reap the rewards? these are the highest of stakes... HOOK
2.
that sh!t cray this sh!t surs that sh!t bout that hurr, that purse this sh!t bout that universe real woman sh!t [like] you the first if you don't like it, go. other side only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things we don't lie no that sh!t cray, this sh!t work that sh!t bout that pole, that twerk this sh!t bout that soul, that earth real revolution, bullshit get murked if you don't like it, go, other side... only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things we don't lie no that sh!t cray this sh!t real that sh!t bout that sex appeal this sh!t bout nations to build real revolution bullsh!t get killed if you don't like it, go. other side only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things that sh!t cray this sh!t on that sh!t look like soft porn fantasies unicorns poisonous, Monsanto corn and I don't like it, no other side. only real kings real queens and we ride only real things real things we don't hide only real things real things we don't lie no... that sh!t cray... what? cray what? cray...
3.
[Verse 1] Do you remember how you look without your makeup on? or (meaning) how your heart felt before your break-up? …on life goes. The cover-up is worse than the crime. Why we all use artificial light when we shine so bright with the lights off?… run so fast with the Nikes off… throw away the keys, take the bikes off-road… and roll to places we never show take back everything we ever stole from ourselves and stowed up on the higher shelves, hiding from our higher selves, we’re wandering under wand-less spells, it dwells in a place so deep where we speak with no insecurities no impurities pure are these thoughts but they like dirty talk words doing the dutty-wine, heads-spinnin it’s fine. we’ll find level-headedness gets nowhere we’re all too busy not being beings to care so we won’t let it go to our heads let the head push it back down instead we’re sippin on the same Kool-Aid we’ve bled put on our best shoes just to be misled it seems everybody’s singin bout ‘get bread’ but you don’t even see cuz of how it gets said we’re sleeping on ourselves–we are our own beds never live up to potential we were fed, we won’t let it go to our heads [Verse 2] I’m in a room full of people everybody’s looking down conversation is nowhere to be found… cuz everybody’s on their phone might as well have just stayed home why come out in public for what you could do alone? and it’s tv’s everywhere. what’s on we don’t care. just stand there and mindlessly stare buy a couple drinks to remind us we there in a couple weeks you’ll find us, we there back there–same spot–more Facebook friends but less to depend on if ever Facebook ends the topic that trends is changing every second wonder as we get connected, real connections are we wrecking are we stepping closer to each other or moving apart? seeing more light or making more dark? you my Ace, but I don’t know your number by heart I feel lonelier and dumber but my phone’s so smart with a lot of numbers in it most of em wouldn’t call pick me up from the airport or catch me if I fall so I guess that’s all I guess that’s all I won’t let it go to my head, let the head push it back down instead am I sippin on the same Kool-Aid I’ve bled puttin on my best shoes just to be misled and if everybody’s singing bout ‘get bread’ will they listen to me when my words get said? or am I sleeping on myself?–maybe I’m my own bed will I live up to potential I was fed…will I let it go to my head?
4.
Sometimes I feel me stepping out of this body I feel like I should just probably be making it or just ending it all and other times I feel like living forever I feel like I could really make it whatever I do I feel like I'll be great it's up and down strong and weak grounded in quicksand and concrete I speak silently love so violently hands in my pockets, balled up into fists I take em out sometimes, open em, and blow you a kiss I wisk myself off to dreamland puffin a jay I don't smoke but I feel at certain times of the day like when the sunset's orange, leaving the sky gray the earth looks how I feel when it cooks that way and in a way I feel like I am flying to shoot me down they tryin I be tryna dodge it tryna outsmart they logic find lodging in a strange land comfort in shaking strange hands and refuse the strangest demands I emerge unscathed and unbehaved uncompromised fuck what they say always emerge unscathed and unbehaved uncompromised fuck what they say I'm uncompromised ignoring what they say uncompromised I'mma make my own way uncompromised you can leave you can stay stand firm don't sway everyday all day I'm uncompromised ignoring what they say uncompromised I'mma make my own way uncompromised you can leave you can stay stand firm don't sway everyday all day Sometimes I wish that I could just disappear and end up on the other side like instead of down here cause everybody wanna go and fuck up your career before it starts you tryna put it together they sit and pick you apart I'm like pardon my dust I'm under construction but still obstructin YOUR shine so what the fuck we discussin? this is my style and it's mine I'm signed to God your labels can't touch me I go at my own pace you can't rush me y'all mixed up like a slushie fakin you got the solution it's more like a suspension yeah, in chemistry class I paid attention not to mention that I've never gone with what the world says leaning not unto your knowledge is the way I know the ledge today they want you in red tomorrow it'll be blue I'm over here in this yellow yellin "you do you!" and none of what they said turns out to be true I keep my headphones on now you do you I'm uncompromised.
5.
But Anyway 03:30
LYRICS: Today's a good day know it's finna be sweet I'm listening to Dom on Kennedy street remembering the west coast where the energy's sweet I did my yoga this morning so my memory's peaked but anyway, off-grid sh*t, nothing to tweet the city's still filling up with those who dance off-beat more than 140 characters, and all of them weak they walk by, low eye, act like they can't speak they walk dogs--when I say that I don't mean their feet that's cause they scared of their neighbors, them they don't wanna meet but anyway, this is third generation for me my parents and my grandparents all from DC so I feel like I notice things other folks can't see And like I represent things other folks can't be and I remember all Black on the green line and all the kids had jobs in the summertime say what you want about Barry, but he cared for the poor and that ain't who these new fools working for I tell em, "That aint who these new fools workin for" they tryna kick us all out and just build more stores but anyway... [HOOK] But Anyway I could go on forever bout all of the bull that I'm tryna make better or even about me and the twenty first letter I feel like I know you even though we ain't together live forever ok, you gettin money well I'm gettin peace of mind that you can't take from me so I feel I'm doing fine and as long as I love me I follow my own signs and the world can't judge me pretty or ugly. Verse 2 speed cameras send me pictures in the mail I hate this city sometimes, but oh well... what can I do? pay the damned ticket think it's unconstitutional but I don't picket there's other battles, other cages to rattle they still lockin us up and tryna herd us like cattle I talk about it cuz nobody else tattles they takin juveniles to Iowa, sayin that'll teach em but it won't. I swear on everything this system is a joke, not rehabilitation and it's not about hope it's about the corporations, ten dollar soap and ten dollars for ten minutes on the phone till you broke where they recording every single word that you spoke they probably ignoring every single word that I wrote cu if I ain't burn it down I was only blowin smoke [HOOK Repeats] And anyway, I'm just speaking from my heart even though the industry is tryna keep us apart even though my enemies be steadily throwing darts I'mma make it to the end, man I said it from the start so play your part and your position pen and paper's like the pots when I'm cookin in the kitchen if I serve it up hot, know the people gon listen gon give it all I got, I'm the link that was missing no more wishing cause I'm here vibratin off love not the frequency of fear I'mma keep it right there and watch the hate disappear everyday is my year get that sh*t clear.

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released March 1, 2016

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